A Series of Tubes

Well that was disappointing! What did we get out of the Electronic Entertainment Expo this year, boys and girls? Let’s see. Microsoft unveiled their best-kept-secret-ever, the clearance of 20gb 360s to make way for 60gb 360s, as well as the motion-sensitive…microphone controller?

I mean, we’ve been hearing rumors about a motion-sensitive 360 controller (to compete with Sony’s SIXAXIS and more importantly, Nintendo’s Wiimote) for months now, and I have to say, I’m disappointed. A karaoke microphone? That’s…um…that’s great, Microsoft. Thanks a bunch. Other than that, there was the Dashboard redesign, and the news that Final Fantasy XIII is being made for the 360 as well as the PS3. Whoop-dee-doo.

What did Sony have for us? Let’s see. Well, there was that neat little presentation of their fiscal year using LittleBigPlanet, that was cool I guess…Not really news, but hey, it’s LittleBigPlanet. I’m not complaining. There was the launch of the video store, about freakin’ time, Sony…And now you can use one login for the PSN across all your machines, as opposed to one account for each. Again, this should not be something that’s happening more than a year after the PS3’s launch. All in all, no news from Sony.

Well how about Nintendo? Oh yes, Nintendo gave us a game, a toy, and two peripherals. Hooray, big news day from Nintendo, right? You might think that. The game? Animal Crossing City Folk, which is basically Animal Crossing Wild World (the DS iteration of the series), except with a city area (accessible by everybody), and a few graphics updates to bring it in line with the Gamecube version of the series. In other words, it’s basically a port of the older game. In other words, it barely counts as its own game.

Next up, Nintendo’s Wii Music. This is the “toy” I mentioned earlier. I call it a toy because it isn’t a game, even Miyamoto has said that it is not a game. It is a non-game, with no plot, no back-story, no characters, no objective. I call that a toy, not a game. Also, the thing isn’t news, because it has been demoed in some form at every E3 since the announcement of the Wii. The “news” is the ability to use the Wii Fit, Nintendo’s balance board in addition to the Wiimote to basically just make music. Think of it like Rock Band, but without real songs or objectives.

Finally, the two peripherals. First off is Wii Speak, a multi-directional microphone that sits on top of the Wii Sensor Bar and allows for audio chatting in online games. This, not unlike the PSN’s video store, should not be something new after more than a year on the market with online services. The second peripheral, the MotionPlus, is just as ridiculous. It is a little knob that plugs into the bottom of the Wiimote, and according to Nintendo, improves the motion-detecting of the Wiimote to make on-screen movements match more closely to the actual movement of the player’s hand or arm. Now I don’t know about you, but it seems to me like this peripheral does…what Nintendo originally promised the Wiimote would be able to do. That seems more than a little lame to me, but hey- it comes with a free game: similarly to the Wii coming with Wii Sports, and the Wiimote coming with Wii Play, the MotionPlus ships with Wii Sports Resort.

So yeah, disappointing compared to previous E3s, but it seems like every year the convention is getting more and more pitiful and less appealing. Oh well, we still have Leipzig and PAX to look forward to!